Having lived the Supermodel life for over 15 years, I took a break to focus on becoming a Mummy. For the last seven years I chose to put all my energy into my babies and young family. Except for some speaking engagements, I dropped out from the modeling world . Well now it is time. As my children grow, my life journey seems to be propelling me forward to share my experience of finding love and peace for myself and in my life. With the acceptance that life is imperfect, I am excited for the possibilities ahead.
I began modeling again this year for some catalog clients and appearing on T. V. for Miracle Body Jeans, trying to find the balance between full time Mom and working Mom (more on that to come for all you Moms out there). Although a Mom and wife first and foremost, here I am again, a different model, speaker and, as always, happiness crusader! (Emphasis on the crusading, defined as: "to take part in a major effort to change something"). With all the ups and downs of daily life - making lunches, taking kids to school, laundry, flying off to N.Y. for work, I constantly have to remind myself to focus on my spirit!!
We all hang on to the "STORY" of who we are . For me it has been documented many times over -chubby baby, kid, "she's so pretty; if only she could lose the weight" .Celebrated for breaking boundaries in the model industry - "the very thing that paralyzed me in my life has given me immense rewards" - I have spoken in auditoriums and halls across the country about my struggle, my eating disorder, and my determination to be happy and accept myself. My dreams have come true many times over: meeting a man who loves and accepts me, and having two beautiful children, a 6 year old boy and 5 year old girl. I am grateful for the blessings bestowed on me and yet, with all I have to be grateful for, when a new year rolls around what is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of setting intentions - I AM GOING TO GET IN GREAT SHAPE - hey, that's a good thing, you say -health and wellness, etc. The thing is...the focus is still the same - "I am not good enough and this one thing will make it all better". Anyone else hear that voice in their head out there?
Well, dare I say it it is different this year and although I hear THE VOICE in my head I say, OK, I hear you, BUT THIS IS HOW I CHOOSE TO FOCUS MY ENERGY. Click here to see it.
- Today is the day that I begin!
- I commit to Myself. I commit to living the highest ideal for truth and honor in the search for the core of my being.
- Today I begin with my commitment to be present - one moment at a time.
- Today I am aware, one moment at a time.
- Today, the "I" that is full of alive, positive energy takes the lead in my life and I let go of my thinking mind that is based in fear and paralyzes me in moving forward in my life.
- Today I take this pledge and gently do my best.
- Today I am full of love for myself - my body, my heart, my mind.
- Today I am joyous.
- Today I breakaway and begin anew.
- Today everything is possible.
By living my life consciously and being present I can seek the truth that exists in me as who I am That is the commitment to myself that I make - the weight, my body, will not free me. First it is the dedication to my self-acceptance and love of self that will lead me to freedom and a greater experience of oneself and, finally, change MY STORY.
It is not about the weight, the pounds, or the obsession with food - the indulgence/deprivation. It is about the fear and loathing of self, and the inability to recognize and distinguish the Ego/False self, or as I call it, The Voice, from the truth that lies in us all as the spiritual being that you are.
If you are reading this and it all sounds like gobbledigook to you, enjoy the other aspects of this site. But if this stirs anything in you, I am going to be continuing the conversation in the weeks ahead and I would love your input.
Just this past April of 2010 I started a blog - FEED YOUR SOUL AND LOSE THE WEIGHT - and it took until this summer to realize that again the ego was playing tricks on me. The idea is, yes, to feed your soul, but the goal is not the weight loss. The goal (for lack of a better, less aggressive word) is to be present and be conscious in one's life and, in turn, you can then honour yourself. How does one do this? Gently with love. Stay tuned.