Okay, so do you feel like you are running out of the “New Year Full Steam Ahead” vibe? You know, “This year is going to be different; I am going to make some positive changes”. I was all set to write about the first step to achieving greatness in your life: releasing what no longer serves you (I will get to that), and low and behold, I woke up this morning and looked at my naked body in my full length mirror as I changed out of my PJ’s into jeans and a sweater to drop the kids to school. As I glanced at myself, I saw a vision of my Granny at let’s say 60. Now I love my Granny, and yes I am sure we have the same genes, but how is it possible that my body at age 46 now looks like hers at age 60. These are the ridiculous thoughts flashing through my head early in the morning as I start my day. Lovely – here we go – Negative Judgment One.
But here is the background on this, (my logical /ego mind will now justify such harshness about oneself). It is the second week of January, and there were the holidays – the crazy, frenetic time of getting it all done for the family; partying, eating whatever my heart desired, barely any exercise due to my crazy schedule getting ready for Christmas, and having the kids home from school. How could I get to the gym? I did run outside a bit (OK, I digress, making myself look good – the Ego loves this, it is so important to its survival – gotta look good – which is basically the need for approval from others). So naturally my body will start to show some neglect and abuse and yes, feel lumpy, and so I realize that I am disconnected from my physical self. On top of it all, I have a job in Puerto Rico in TWO days !!! Yes, I will be in front of a camera with a very big lens, shooting summer clothes, being Natalie the Model not the now Natalie the Mum.
My prep time for a modeling job is usually 3 weeks of eating for health and beauty; 60% raw foods, vitamins, and lots of water. Basically, I put things in my body that make it thrive - lot’s of salad, fruit, veggies, grains, less coffee, more green tea, no alcohol and, in the AM before I eat anything, warm water and lemon with cayenne pepper. This alkalizes my system and speeds up my metabolism. Oh, and of course, exercise for my skin and for me to feel energized – nothing crazy – just a little sweating 5 times a week. Oh, and did I forget SLEEP; as much as my kids and life will allow. Believe me, I get into what I call Model Training.
(Just curious -- what motivates you to take care of your physical self?)
I would love to maintain this discipline everyday of my life, but with everything I had going on during the holidays I guess I eased up, so to speak. Don’t we all do that? Hey, I am not talking about going on a diet or even losing weight; I just need to feel good in my skin and connect to myself. So here I am trying to be calm and not ‘wigg’ out, but of course, there is still a little hysteria, and as each day passes, I do what I can to get back to my prework routines.
The day before I’m supposed to leave for Puerto Rico, I had planned to get a fabulous workout and finish off all the last minute details before my departure. Of course, my darling sweet boy (my son) develops a stomach bug and I keep him home from school. As much as I focus on taking care of him and making him comfortable, in the back of my mind panic is building; how will I get my pedicure/manicure done (this is purely for work –I know you roll your eyes, but when you HAVE to do it, it is not as much fun!) and get to my work out, and pack, and make arrangements for the kids to be taken care of while I am gone, and shop for groceries so my husband can make lunches? Ahhhh!!
This is when meditation comes in handy – just breathe. I take a moment to sit and light my favorite incense, close my eyes, turn off the running tape of the voice and breathe. Ask Universal Life Force/Spirit/The All That Is to help me be in the present as I go through my day one step at a time. Gradually I open my eyes to a new day full of love and calm. I am centered. I make my list, get some baby sitting relief from an angel in the form of a family member, and take care of just the necessities. All is well. I get what I get done, and the rest I have to trust will be taken care of.
The end to this long story is that it all works out, and I am reminded again that life never goes as planned, and the way to get through the ups and downs is to use some tools in our bag that work for us . (You do have tools, don’t you?) I believe we all have different tricks that soothe and bring us to the present, as that is the only place we can move forward from: The Present. Some days it is essentail oils, or holding a special crystal, or, as a therapist once told me, just sitting and staring out the window. Yeah, I hear you, who has time to stare? Well if you don’t, you might grab a bag of M&M’s or Cheetos, or whatever your escape is. Staring is a lot cheaper and healthier in the long run. Take it from someone who has tried the alternatives!
The Voice/Mind/Ego will always want to bring you back to the drama of the situation, but once you become aware that that is not your reality and you CAN change your perspective by being in the quiet moment of right now, all is truly well. WHEW! It is such a relief.
So here I am, ‘gung ho’ again about my life and the realization that everyday I can pretend it is the first day of the year! Even when it’s July. I make up my rules, and if I need to revisit, reset my intentions, or add some new ones, I can do that too. So, when life throws you a curve ball (so funny, I know nothing about baseball, but I guess I have lived in America for so long those words just flow out), you can pick up another ball and throw it again. Ha!
Back to lumpy body. I just got back from my job in Puerto Rico and am still not model- fighting fit, but I will get there with love for my imperfect self; so much better than the torture I have inflicted on myself in the past. Feel love, get in the present, and say goodbye to self hatred! You girls know whereof I speak!
There is only one cause of failure, and that is my lack of faith in my true self.